the non-allegory of the cave


  1. Two days ago, I was sitting in a sea cave in Guimaras. The sky was pink on the fringes of my sight, almost like vignettes from expired film. My mother was a few feet away from me, and you heard nothing besides the crashing of the waves against the rocks, the ebb and foam of the currents. It was nothing short of picturesque. I thought, this is it, this is the moment, my mom will start imparting wise words and this will be profoundly true. Nothing was of the sort. In my mother’s banshee fashion, she exclaimed, call your sister [sprained at that time], let’s post this on facebook! I stared at her, then I started to laugh. I told her that she was supposed to say something deep, something meaningful that I’ll remember for the rest of my life– she pauses. Then she said something long about gut feeling and fate. She says I’ll never forget this moment.
  2. I actually forgot what she said. 
  3. Profundity eludes you when you need it. Sort of like the manic pixie dream girl of ennui. Profound truth appears as an unknown, strange, life-changing girl with purple hair on your doorstep. Disappears when you like her. 
  4. Because you invented her. You do not invent truth. There is only coincidence, mere chance, serendipity, if you must.
  5. Contemporary Life is looking for content to post on Twitter. and Facebook.


  1. My brain has three mutually exclusive modes. Said modes are editor mode, writer mode, bullshit mode.
  2. I reside in bullshit mode 80% of the time. Editor mode is work mode. 
  3. Turns out writer mode isn’t so mutually exclusive with bullshit mode. When they overlap, I create a submode that I will call mema mode.
  4. Currently in mema mode. 

C. Gratuitous updates, vanitas, shameless plugs, etc. 

  1. I found a strong contender for Chili’s Favorite Book of All Time. Michael Chabon’s The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. Brilliant. Brilliant. Ultra brilliant. Constantly weeping over his metaphors and allusions.
  2. We launched The Thing Online today. I wish my 12 year old self could see this. You can slowly let go of that Twilight book honey.
  3. By some stroke of fate and misfortune, I am now an intern at General Stockbroking Firm That I Will Not Mention. This internship is otherwise known as “My Dad Wants Me To Stop Wasting His Money On Food Because Four Months Of Summer Should Be Productive”. I have an interview on Monday. I don’t know what to feel. Bring in the dancing lobsters and play the Nicolas Cage noises on loop.
  4. 5PA1N. Let us never talk about that match again. Or I will punch you in the neck.
  5. Question 1.1: How does one participate in an organization one does not belong in? Question 1.2: How important is self-honesty?
  6. Father’s Day Cigar promos should exist.
  7. Spring cleaning is a bitch. This household is one big bitch. There is substantially more work on my shoulders.
  8. Online courses are the thing of the gods. Basic classics mythos course by UPenn. Nothing quite like going to class at 2AM.
  9. I continue this farce. Whilst standing on the brink of greatness and failure. To some surprise, this newfound nihilism helps. 
  10. Message to Spotify: Please improve your Blues collection.

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