photography

silence has no wings

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“Yes, we have lost track of the light, the mornings, the holy innocence of those who forgive themselves.”
Albert Camus, from The Fall
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TRAVEL: Osaka, Japan 2015

Got an additional 4GB of RAM for my laptop today!! So to celebrate this wonderful occasion (yes! this is monumental!) I finally got to export some of my Japan travel photos from last spring. Experimented again (lol) since I’m still trying to get a grip on my ~post-processing look~. Can’t wait to upload more shit lol. Life update soon maybe? Photo heavy under the cut!

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TRAVEL: El Nido, Palawan; January 2015

This is a really random and late upload but I’m finding excuses to procrastinate and delay studying for my accounting exam on Monday. So here are some of my favorite photos from our beach trip to my favorite place on earth, El Nido, Palawan. We (Bea, Livi, Anya and I) went there for my best friend Nicole’s 18th birthday. Much fun. Can’t wait to get out of school (which detestably ends in a month and with the summer season) and have the time to be a carefree bum on a beach.

Rather photo-heavy under the cut. I own all the photos. Shot using a Nikon D3100 35mm. Post-processing by yours truly.

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a belated new year’s post

Well hello there, 2015. You’ve been a sly little bitch so far.

  1. This holiday season was spent eating my heart out with my immediate family. And a sidetrip to the boondocks with stunning views while we all tried to pretend we could stand one another.
  2. My grades were surprisingly superb given the hell I went through last sem. Excluding EL50 since my professor refuses to post our grades yet (much to my chagrin). I have no idea how he’ll grade us– the wait will either lead to (1) a beautiful ending to that hell sem or (2) me shitting on his face. There is no in-between.
  3. Love is sharing your last cigarette with a friend.
  4. Well. I should quit cold turkey anyway– but you know, fuck it.
  5. I have reached the low point of pathetic and desperate by listening to nature wave sounds on Spotify. I really, really, really miss the beach. I went to El Nido, Palawan (my favorite place on this planet, legit) with my best friends and I have a terrible case of separation anxiety. That trip convinced me that I am meant to live on a beach forever. The withdrawal symptoms are making me antsy. Reminding self to post photos soon.
  6. Not to mention depressed as fuck. This recent wave has been keeping me drowning in misery. To the point that I’m really connecting with Dostoevsky.
  7. Survival is masking your depression with kitten photos and vodka sprites.
  8. As for resolutions. I’d like to (1) exercise regularly, (2) learn something that people wouldn’t normally associate me with (ex. “wow! you can fix a car?”), (3) become that cool yoga lady who wakes up at 5 am to look at the sunrise and greets people with namaste, (4) read more books, (5) improve my make-up game and (6) afford my lifestyle. Not bad.
  9. Diving and driving license. iPhone 6. Faster laptop. #goals
  10. Turns out people really do get fed up with themselves as they grow older. I only like myself because I have new pillows.

Here’s a sneak peek to my post-processed El Nido photos. Also. I hope to upload my backlog of travel photos soon (Cambodia, Vietnam, Korea). Taken during the breathtaking sunset of our last night. I miss the trifecta (sun, sea, sand).

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the girl who wanted to be God

Planet Terror-31

“I am afraid of getting older. I am afraid of getting married. Spare me from cooking three meals a day—spare me from the relentless cage of routine and rote. I want to be free. (…) I want, I think, to be omniscient… I think I would like to call myself “The girl who wanted to be God.” Yet if I were not in this body, where would I be—perhaps I am destined to be classified and qualified. But, oh, I cry out against it. I am I—I am powerful—but to what extent? I am I.” Sylvia Plath, Letters Home

Hey. This isn’t really anything. I just wanted to talk. To write. To quote that Plath quote I really like, and to post that rad mega-cool ultra-hip photo of me as Simone de Beauvoir (that’s Anton behind me as Jean-Paul Sartre lol) last Halloween for Planet Terror (thanks Jude!). I just wanted to let you know, whoever you are (if you really are there), that I’m still alive. I’m having a pretty shit time at uni right now. Not because of any drama but you know, the usual hell sem worries, except now it’s overblown and shit’s hit the fan and wow, I can’t believe I’m still awake at 3:18 am when I’ve been sleep-deprived for the past 5 months. Speaking of no sleep. My insomnia’s been worsening. I have acne and I haven’t smoked in a fortnight and I think I not-slept my way to a hemorrhoid but yeah. I’m doing the usual shit. Otherwise I’m doing a bit okay. I think I’m in a better place, or maybe it’s just the stress taking too much of my time and thoughts. Anyway. That’s a good thing, right?

I also watched a couple of movies recently. I really liked Yasujiro Ozu’s Tokyo Story. I like how it doesn’t judge anyone. It’s human condition, to forget that we should love people in the right way. We’re too busy trying to be understood that we forget to be understanding. I get it. How do we reconcile that though? How do we find the balance of selfish and selfless? Or do we have to tip it to one side?

Moving on. This is the trippiest video I’ve ever seen in my life. Chamber of Reflections is my favorite track on Salad Days though. Mac DeMarco is a revelation. Jumping to Korea. Taemin and Kai’s collab Pretty Boy made me survive my EL50 paper. I finally understand why some people don’t like K-Pop. I think it’s a cultural thing. Westerners favor more “authentic” music, so they dislike musicians that have curated images (e.g. Lana Del Rey vs. Taylor Swift). K-Pop, however, works exactly because they change images very easily and rapidly. Each song or album is a new concept. It’s like experimentation and art and culture on steroids. I fucking love that. There’s always something new in Korea.

Moving on. Over the past fortnight, while I was supposedly studying for my Econ majors (TANGENT: I got a perfect score on my liquor market analysis from Prof. Ho. I literally cried. I was failing that class and I had to rewrite that paper 8 hours before passing it because Word crashed. Point is, let me feel proud about that. Yay for validation, I’m on the right track.)– I made a long-ass, super detailed itinerary for my week long trip to Japan next April. Sorta went crazy writing it. 2 days in Osaka, 2 days in Kyoto, 2-3 in Tokyo. I am fucking excited. Literally everything I’m planning, from second sem schedule to fitness goals, are hinged on this Japan trip. Fucking. Excited. I feel bad that I don’t have enough time to visit my host family in Kumamoto though. Hopefully I can go back there if ever I get accepted for that exchange program next year. About that. I applied (for the lulz) for an exchange program to the Netherlands or to Japan. Aiming for Utrecht or Osaka/Kyushu Uni next fall. Not sure if I want to continue with it though, but anyway there’s still an interview.

Meanwhile. My sem’s not yet over (since I still have my stat finals on Monday) but I’m finally tasting freedom. Because of said freedom, I’ve booked a spa date with my friend Alysson and I’m watching Ravel and Debussy played by the Manila Orchestra on Friday with Fatemeh. I’m starting to get a hang of 1-1 hangouts. Usually I’m very awkward being alone with someone else but ever since UP I’m starting to like being alone-ish. Good thing too I guess. I’m also really, really excited about my best friend Nicole’s debut on January, we’re headed to my favorite place on Earth El Nido for a 4-day trip. Really. Really. Excited. So I got that going for me. I’m finally going to be able to go to a beach with my main gal pals to unwind and have fun and have all the pina coladas I want.

I also have the time to read books over the break. Eyeing Pessl’s Special Topics in Calamity Physics (found it in a booksale for 200Php!),Piketty’s Capital in the 21st Century (finally!) and Murakami’s 1Q84. Feeling quite bummed about the fact that I don’t think I can reach my movie target this year (120’s a bit of a long shot at this time) but at least there’s still next year.

Overall I feel generally okay right now. I need to work on my friendship skillz though. I’ve been a shit friend to a lot of people. Also my writing habits. As you can see I’m really in a funk right now, I’ve only been writing to churn out academic papers and I haven’t written a poem in months. But now I’m just really tired and burned out. I really need a break. I guess I have Christmas to do it. Also, note to self: you want an external hard-drive for Christmas. And retail therapy (records and clothes. And make-up).

Only thing that’s been really bothering me lately is my discontent. I feel myself wanting more, not really from anyone else but from myself. It’s always good to improve yourself but it seems that I always want to be everyone and anyone and do everything and anything and yeah, I want to think and feel everything and I want to reach that point. I want to be God. Such hubris. Should I stop myself? Should I take the leap of faith? Whatever I believe in, my actions will operate on and perhaps I’ll be closer to the truth. Will I create truth? Do I dare, disturb the universe? It always goes back to this.

TRAVEL: NSTP SURP Camping Trip with Basquille, Mt. Makiling

Well hello there, people of the interwebs!

I am crawling out of my cave of inactivity to post this set of photos I took last April 25-27 during a field trip in Los Banos, Laguna. For the summer semester I took a rappelling and survival CWTS (Civil Welfare Training something) class under the School of Urban and Regional Planning to fulfill my NSTP (National Service Training Program) requirement.  Basically it’s a month long program where we learn how to respond to emergencies and disasters as citizens. For the past 4-5 weeks my teammates and I have been learning rappelling, CPR, compass navigation, proper carrying, bandaging, knotting, camping strategies and general fun things like ziplining and trekking. So as a culminating activity and a test of our new abilities, we all had to attend this 3 day camping trip in the heart of Mt. Makiling.

This trip earned a special place in my ~heart~ because (1) this was my first college field trip (and it definitely was UP material), (2) I was with the clingiest, vainest, craziest and best team ever (#BASQUILLE), and (3) it was ridiculously fun and almost disgustingly unforgettable. I’ll break it down for you later on, and you’ll get to know my insane teammates too. LOL.

Shot using my Nikon D3100 55 mm. Post-processing using Photoshop CS6. All photos taken and edited by yours truly.

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 Gilbert traverses. Instructor relaxes. 

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TRAVEL: Cambodia 2013 Part 1

I’m sorry this is extremely late. Never actually got to finish post-processing everything, but here are some of the photos I took while in Cambodia last February. My whole family went on a vacation together with my mom’s officemates for Optimus’ annual incentive trip. Here’s a bunch of photos from our Cambodia day trip to Angkor Wat. 

Warning: photo heavy under the cut!

Shot using my Nikon D3100 55 mm. Post-processing using Photoshop CS3. All photos taken and edited by yours truly.

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